I am attracted to alcoholics and lesbians

I was over my freinds house tonight, the one who’s wife fixed me up with the wino…

Well, she has joined AA and stopped drinking. The other news is she has the hots for her “partner” or what ever you call you buddy… I don’t think you are supposed to do that… but good for her.

She is the second person I have been involved with who got into the program. The first was probably 10 years ago, under similar circumstances… well not really. I met her through a friend, but she lived 30 miles away… geeze come to think about it, we had the first date at the same place… different oweners, but same building. I drove all the way to pick her up and remained sober all night long, so I could drive her home. Bla, bla one thing led to another and she slept on the couch that night. I litterally fought her for the last beer in my fridge. The next day I brought her home.

I don’t know what went wrong with her, alright I did… I couldn’t take a drunk. We remained in contact and she cleaned up… funny thing is, somehow she moved to my town… she used to live across the street from my buddy and his wife that fixed me up with the new wino.

So, that’s two alcoholics… now about the lesbians…

It’s not what your thinking, “Lebians are Hot!”

It’s more than my fair share of girlfriends have started batting for the other team. Well, at least not since college… what’s that called Luggy? Lesbian until graduation?…

Story closed….

Strike 3

I don’t know if it was 3 strikes, but it was enough for me.

We made plans again for dinner last Sunday. Because of the distance, our dates have been sleep overs.  I offered up the guest room, but we were mature about it, if you get my drift.

After dinner, we had some wine and beer, then because I had to go to work in the morning, we went to bed. She kept getting up to go pee. It must have been 3 times before I fell asleep. I heard the door close again, I thought it was the bathroom door, it was the bedroom door… I then heard her downstairs, I look at the clock, it was 4:30 am. I rolled over, a few minutes later she came back upstairs…

“What were you doing?”

“I can’t sleep, I had too many energy drinks yestarday…”

“What?”

She settled down and got up again… WTF?

My alarm went off at 5:00am and I went downstairs to have my coffee. I noticed the bottle of wine from last night was now empty… oh for christ’s sake… she got up at 4:00 in the morning to polish off the rest of the wine? I should have seen the warning signs… the previous date when we were back at her place, she drank her wine and mine…

No more dates for her…

Date Night

Well, after a not so successful first date with my blind date, I called wifey’s husband to get his take on the evening. He said it wasn’t the cosmo’s that did her in, it was the two bottles of wine the girls had shared all afternoon. Then in the morning, while wifey was sleeping, he had to entertain her and found out, she really has a nice personality when the pomp and circumstance of date night was over.

I wanted to give us another chance before writing her off.. We had been playing phone tag all week and never really got to talk during the week. Saturday afternoon, I went to the store and planned my Sunday dinner. I usually make myself a real nice sunday supper, because of eating like shit during the week.

 I got home from the store and the machine was flashing with a new message. It was short.

“Hi, this is ___________ I think you should come over tonight, call me.”

I called her back, she had an appointment from 6 to 8, then would be ready for 9:00pm. I am thinking to myself… uhm… that’s my bedtime… ok, give me your address, I’ll pop it into my GPS, yup it found it, see you then. We went downtown manchvegas… she wanted to see about a martini bar she had heard about. We found it ok, but parking was another problem.. I found a parking garage… but I had my doubts, my truck would fit. (F-350) There was a little bar that hung from the roof that let you know if you touched it, you probably shouldn’t try to go in. I was under it by 3 inches. Everytime I went under a beam my antennas hit it. The girl was kind enough to reach out the window and hold the antennas from slapping.

We went to the martini bar for a drink and talk. We didn’t have martinis… she had a glass of wine and I had a budweiser. We decided it would be funner to play air hockey and pool, so we left for Jillians’. We went in, the bouncer asked for her ID and $5. She gave him her ID and said “see my sugar daddy for the money”. We got drinks and found the air hockey table. She spilled her rum and coke on the table and we needed to find a waitress to clean it up. I had been warned by her, that she is a proffessional air hockey player and would offer me some tips. I asked her if she was beating me too bad to lay off and give me a couple of points. I beat her 5 games to 1.

We closed the place and were thinking about what to do next, when she asked me to stay over. I didn’t know what to do, I have a dog at home, I have never left him overnight alone. At first I declined, then thought about it for 300 miliseconds and said “That would be great, what’s the worst that can happen to him?”

We got back to her place and talked for a while and hit the sack… (being good, it was a first date after all, well second I suppose). I woke in the morning and looked at the clock, it was 5:00, I woke her and told her I had to leave. I drove home, my boy was up and terribly excited to see me. We went for a little walk and went to sleep.

 She is coming over for dinner tonight. I have a lot of cleaning to do today…

I’ll keep my concerns to myself for the time being.

A simple suggestion…

Yestarday, my group leader brought some signoff forms to my office….

Her: Could you do me right here in your office?

She shot me a look… WTF? a hottie, but she’s married, doesn’t wear her wedding ring. She wore it around the holidays “to avoid the discussion with the family…” I don’t want to get involved with a married woman, or even somebody at work, been there done that.  

Me: Yes, give me those forms, I’ll do them in my office right now.

Blind Dates… when will I learn?

Friday night, I had a date… well it was a “group” date. A friends wife wanted me to meet one of her friends.

We planned the time and place… they walk in…

Ok, so she is kinda cute… for some reason, I thought she was going to be a skinny Asian… she wasn’t.

First things first, my friends wife says… do you know who “porn star” is?

Me: I’ve heard of her, can’t put a face to the name

Wifey: She is her hairdresser

Well, that makes all the difference in the world…

She commented on the pizza not being real pizza and she should know, because she’s Italian…

We settled down for drinks, I asked how she met the “porn star”…

Seems she was a hairdresser (still is) and the starlet came in randomly one day. Oh, so you aren’t her hairdresser, you cut her hair once… I didn’t say it out loud, but it became clear that was her brush with fame. She said something about being “my Space” friends with the starlet, which brought the table’s conversation to mySpace.

Wifey: I don’t think married couples need a my Space account, it just leads to trouble.

Me: I have plenty of friends with accounts.

So we took Wifey’s iphone and logged into myspace… “what’s your user name, I asked”

“oh, just search by my regular name…”

and your last name?

“____________ski”

“I thought you were Italian?”

“Well, I am 1/8^th Polish”

“You’re the 1/8” that matters… your last name…”

After dinner we decided we would goto the couple’s house and watch a movie… I walked in the door as the girl raced to the bathroom… apparently the cosmopolitans’ didn’t agree with her.

I have been getting txt’s by wifey all day… she likes you, do you like her? Sounds like 6^th grade doesn’t it?

She’s at it again…

The other Engineer is at it again…  In my myspace blog, I wrote about the junior engineer who cannot control herself.  

We are having a major quality problem right now. She is heavily involved with containment of the problem and not in the root cause or resolution… I don’t know why, I try to keep my distance of her and her problems.

That was until Thursday. She asked for help.  

“Could you take a look at my problem?” 

“Sure” 

The problem relates to a piece of the product being stressed and snapped off in the assembly of the product. What would be the first thing you would do? I went to the machine from the end and looked under and around the machine, working my way towards the beginning of the line until I couldn’t find any more pieces, that gave me an idea of where it was happening. Within 10 minutes, I knew which part of the machine was doing it and why.  I go back to my office and pull a print of the part being broken. I go through the print and try to think how it could fail in the location it’s failing. I go to the line and pick up some samples and go back and fourth with the print and measure samples.  

She walks in…  

Her: “What are you doing?”

I: “Getting acquainted with the product…”

I: “Say, do you have any samples of the failures?” 

Her: ”I couldn’t find them”

I: “Aren’t you sorting through 100’s of 1000’s of them from the warehouse and finding them? Where are they? 

Her: “I don’t know, I cannot find them” 

I walked down to the floor where the inspection process is going on, find the inspector and ask where the defects are…  

Inspector: “Right here… ” 

There are 100’s of them!! I take a couple of trays and sit under a microscope. A quick look, hey most of them are from the same molding cavity… I walked over to the hopper and sorted through it for some parts of that cavity… grabbed about 20 of them and headed back to my desk…  

She walks in…  Her: “What are you doing?”

I: “Measuring some parts”

Her: “Don’t you think I already have?” 

Uhm… what the hell is wrong with her…  

I: “So what did you see?”

Her: “I don’t know, I had the tech measure them for me”

I: “What did she measure?”

Her: “I don’t know, a much of dimensions”  

I: “I am looking at the print and it’s missing a datum, but in this GDT control box it references –C- can you find it?”

Her: “Who drew it?”

I: “Joe”

Her: “You two must get along great, you both know everything…” 

She leaves again. (WTF is wrong with her?) 

I am down on the floor a couple hours later, when she comes up to me and says “Anyone ever tell you you’re an asshole?” 

Me: “Sure all the time…” 

About 4:30, I go into my dotted line bosses office, close the door and say “What is wrong with her?” He knows what she has been up to, she had visited him earlier in the day…  

Her: So, you have assigned “__(insert my name here)____” to the project?

Him: “No, didn’t you ask him for help?”

Her: “Yes”

Him: “Is he helping you?”

Her: “I guess so, but he’s running around, talking to people, measuring things, going through my machines”

Him: “What did you expect him to do?”

Her: “I don’t know” 

The conversation, from what he told me went something like that… He has also spoken to his boss about her, they just don’t know what to do about her.  

The following day (friday) we (my dotted line boss) were walking on the way to the cafeteria, when I remembered hearing that she had interned at another plant about 3 miles from her house. I asked him about it, he didn’t know anything about it… alright, so for some reason she is commuting 3 hours a day, when there is another plant right next to her house… I am starting to think there was an “incident”…    

Ha ha ha ha ha

A grown up blog as MK would say… I have been blogging for 6 months or so on MySpace. I have choosen this place to be more anonymous… look out…